What do You do with a Wasted Boyfriend
by MoonCigar
Summary: (reposted)yaoi SJ: Seto and Jou go on a date, Jou gets drunk and Seto has to deal with it. Jou puts on a maids dress. Not my fav. pairing but its funny. R


Hey! Moonfox here. Got another Seto/Jou fanfic. Is it just me or do those to make the most fun couple to write about? This was really fun to type, so if you don't like it well :p you.  
  
Diclaimer: Do you see Anzu being burned to the ground in every episode? Thought so....  
  
Also if you have any pointers or you want to tell me it's a good fanfic, review me ok? Anyways, enjoy the story!   
  
(AN. little annoying me)  
  
Warning: bashing and yaoi don't like just move away very slowly.  
  
~~~~~What Do You Do with a Drunk Boyfriend ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jou: "Kaiba, what are ya doin'?"  
  
Seto: "Getting away from you, what does it look like?"  
  
Jou: "C'mon, it's our first date. Don't be so shy."  
  
Seto: "Shy? More like terrified. You had way too much food at this restaurant. You've thrown up two times already, and this is NOT our first date "  
  
Jou: "Too much? I could still eat more. Pass me some of that cow, would ya? And when was the last time we went on a date?"   
  
Seto: "You drank too much too."   
  
Jou: "No wonda', I feel dizzy. What was in em' shiny bottles?"  
  
Seto: "What do you think? Wine, you drunken baka."  
  
Jou: "Baka? Who are ya callin' a baka. I wasn't the one who wanted a date, Kaiba."  
  
Seto: "You wanted a date. I just agreed to go."   
  
Jou: "Whateva', just kiss me."  
  
Seto: "I don't feel like it."  
  
Jou: *getting closer* "I'll put some moves on ya and you'll feel like it, soon enough."  
  
Seto: *alarmed* "Don't get any closer, I can smell smoked beef already."  
  
Jou: "Doesn't that, turn you on? Told ya you'd be in the mood soon."  
  
Seto: "I want whatever that is turned off."  
  
Jou: "I love you, Kaiba."  
  
Seto: *softening up* "Is that you talking or the wine?"  
  
Jou: "Neither. It's my heart."  
  
Seto: "Did the wine make you romantic?"  
  
Jou: "Time for kissing."  
  
Seto: "Jou, not in Mmmmm.... public. Mmmmm....."  
  
Jou: *kissing noises*  
  
Seto: "Mmmmm..... People might Mmmmm.... be Mmmmm.... watching."  
  
Jou: *kissing noises*  
  
Seto: *kissing noises*   
  
*Everyone is staring at them in the restraunt wide eyed.*  
  
Jou: *kissing still*  
  
Seto:*just notices the people staring, pulls away from Jou, and is blushing deep red then pushes Jou off*  
  
Jou: "What was that for?!?!?!?"  
  
Seto: "Do you see all of these people? You might not but I have a company and a reputation to uphold."  
  
Jou: "Ya saying that I don't have a r....re....reapoo...the word thingy that you just said."  
  
Seto: "Exactly what I meant."  
  
*Most of the people continued with there food while the rest still stared.*   
  
Jou: "Hey Mr. Moneybags your not the only one on this planet........*suddenly passes out*"  
  
Seto: *sweatdrops* "I got to get you out of here before hell breaks loose..."   
  
Jou: *starts to snore loudly* "ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz"  
  
Seto: "CHECK PLEASE!"  
  
Jou: "ZZZzzzzz"  
  
*Pays the check and carries Jou out of the restaurant and into his limo, the waiter middle fingered Seto behind his back because of the giant mess that he would have to clean up.*  
  
~At the Kaiba Mansion~   
  
Seto: *carries the wigged out Jou to the mansion* "hmph....hmph....man, for a slim guy you weigh   
  
a ton....hmph"  
  
Jou: "ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzBIG PIZZAzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"  
  
Seto: *shakes his head* "Why do I always fall for the weird ones?"  
  
Jou: "Cause I'm too sexy for you to resist."  
  
Seto: "Ahhhhh!!!!!" *drops Jou* "When did you wake up?!"  
  
Jou: "I don't know *rubs his butt* Did you really have to do that!?"  
  
Seto: "Stupid mutt."  
  
Jou: "Hey!! I ain't a mutt!!!"  
  
Seto: "You are, and I believe the correct phrase is 'I'm NOT a mutt.' Is everyone so uncivilized now?"  
  
Jou: "Hey you don't give me that lip, Mr.Sexy Moneybags." (AN. T.T I can't believe i just wrote that)  
  
Seto: *sweatdrop* "He acts like a mother and does dirty talk when he's drunk..shit."  
  
Jou: "Hey, where's the bathroom? I'd like to freshen up a bit."   
  
Seto: "Uh....over there." *points to where one of his restrooms are*  
  
Jou: "Thanks sexy." *walks away to bathroom*  
  
Seto: *collapses in an armchair* "Thank GOD Mokuba is at a friends house."  
  
~Mokuba at a "Friend's" house~  
  
Mokuba: Ok now bring on the whip cream!!!  
  
Girls and Boys: YAY!  
  
Mokuba: Ok we got sugar, coffee, whip cream, soda and ice cream, all we need now is...  
  
CHOCOLOTE!!!!!  
  
Grl 1: "Don't forget the marshmellows, pudding, and jello!"  
  
Mokuba: *dumps containers into a inflaited pool* "OK, WHO WANTS TO SUGAR WRESTLE!!!"  
  
Boy 1: "Why do you think we brought our swim trunks?"  
  
~Back to the Scene We Left Off~  
  
Jou: *in singy song voice* "Oh Seto..."  
  
Seto: "Wha..... What the hell are you wearing?!"  
  
Jou: "What? you don't like the apron?, And why are the skirts this short?"  
  
Seto: "Why are you wearing one of my maid's uniforms?! Not that I'm complaining..."  
  
Jou: "I mean, really, you're like some kind of pervert."   
  
Seto: "Um Jou what are you doing?"  
  
Jou: *gets on Seto's lap* "What do ya think, big boy, I'm giving you a lap dance."  
  
Seto: "God, I have to get you drunk more often."  
  
Jou: *starts moving his hips for Seto*   
  
*the doorbell rings*   
  
Seto: *growls* "I'll let the servants get it."  
  
Jou: "Ok" *continues his hip moving and boody call* (an.don't ask)  
  
*doorbell keeps on ringing*  
  
Seto: "Oh yeah, I forgot the servants and maids are having a day off today."   
  
~Servants and Maids~  
  
*all the servants, maids wearing grass skirts and Hawaii shirts*  
  
Sevant 1: "OK, WHO WANTS TO PLAY LIMBO!!!"  
  
*Guard Dogs are playing poker, drinking beer, and smoking cigars*  
  
Bulldog: "Woof Wuff!" (translation: "Got any hearts?")  
  
Terrier: "Bow Wow" (translation: "Goldfish.")  
  
~Getting away from the scary setting~  
  
Seto: "I'll go get that, you stay here, Puppy."  
  
Jou: *sits like a dog and whimpers*  
  
Seto: *sweatdrop and heads for the door*  
  
~At the door~  
  
Seto: *opens the door* "Oh Ra no.."   
  
Anzu: *wearing a tube-top with a skirt rolling halfway up her ass in mid winter* "Hi Seto."  
  
Seto: "What are you doing here?"  
  
Anzu: *ditsy look on her face* "Yeah, what am I doing here?"  
  
Seto: "Are you high on somthing?"  
  
Anzu: "NOPE! I'm drug free, the only drugs I take are from my couselor and his friend   
  
Mr.Sock!"  
  
Seto: *mummbles*   
  
Jou: "HI GUYS!!!"  
  
Seto: "Oh Ra, Jou get back in the house!"  
  
Anzu: *starts laughing* "Jou you really look stupid in that!"  
  
Jou: "Oh, and yours doesn't scream "Kiss Me I'm a Whore" right?"  
  
Seto: *@.@* "Wow."  
  
Anzu: *looks stunned* "You are so hurtful!" *turns around but trips head first in the  
  
cement ,then gets up, and leaves*  
  
*you can here the noices of screeching metal, honking cars, a bitchy scream that sounded like "Yami I love you" and Jou and Seto wincing at the site.*   
  
Jou: "Wow look at tat, tat truck rammed right into........oh gross."  
  
Seto: "I know it just went straight to those fake plastic breasts."   
  
Seto: "Then it just dragged her under and spit her out the same as the other car? Couple of times too, and did you hear what she yelled out? She was really desparate."  
  
Jou: "Well at least she already lost her virginty though, probably fucked the whole football team and their mascot. Lets get back inside."  
  
Jou: "OK!!!"   
  
~Back in the house~  
  
Jou: "Seto?"  
  
Seto: "Hm?"  
  
Jou: "I'm horny! Lets have sex right now!"   
  
Seto: "What?! Jou you had to much wine. No."  
  
Jou: "But Seto!"  
  
Seto: "No."  
  
Jou: "Plwease" *Big puppy dog eyes*  
  
Seto: "No....must resist...the...puppy..dog...pout....."  
  
Jou: *crawls off Seto's lap and whimpers*  
  
Seto: "Oh fine."   
  
Jou: "Carry me up there."  
  
Seto: "No."  
  
Jou: "Why do you keep on saying tat?"  
  
Seto: "Because I already carried you twice today, and I'm not doing it again, have your ever noticed how heavy you are?"   
  
Jou: *gasp* "How dare you,you, skinny ass!"  
  
Seto: "Skinny ass!?"  
  
Jou: "You heard me you hot hunky with the skinny ass, and your high cheek-bones, and blue eyes and soft brown hair, and long legs, and your big di.........."* rambles on until that point and passes out on Seto's lap*  
  
Seto: "Great not again..." *notices where Jou's face is*   
  
Jou: *breaths heavy on Seto's penis* (an.i'm not afraid to say it!)  
  
Seto: *hardens* "Oh crap, now I'm in the mood."  
  
Jou: "Good, lets go."  
  
Seto: "When did yo....geez, why am I even asking, ok Jou, now lets get you out of that maids suit."   
  
Jou: "YAY!" *runs like a dog to the bedroom*  
  
Seto: *follows*   
  
~In the morning with hang-over Jou~  
  
Jou: *groans* "Ow my head all last night is just a blurr."  
  
Seto: *in a towel after a shower* "Well finally your awake."  
  
Jou: "Ahhh! Seto, what are you doin' in my house, did you see Mr.Wuffy!"  
  
Seto: "No, Puppy, you're at my house and had a little to much to drink last night so I took you here. Who's Mr.Wuffy?"  
  
Jou: *just notices Seto in a towel, giving off steam*   
  
Seto: "Jou, what are you staring at...Jou?"  
  
Jou: "Do you even realize wat your in?!?!"  
  
Seto: *looks at self* "Oh, that reason, what are you turned on?"  
  
Jou: "Wat do ya think, and why one of your maid's caps on my dick?"  
  
Seto: "Ah, the wonderful after affects of alchol, sweet huh?"  
  
Jou: "You just lighten the mood don't you."  
  
Seto: "It's what I do best, now shut up and let me fuck you."  
  
Jou: "I'm not arguing on that."  
  
~Mokuba comes home~ (AN. Seto: Do you have to be so evil? Mf:*thinks about it* Yes.)  
  
Mokuba: *walks over to front door*  
  
MoonFox: "pst TouTou-chan"  
  
Mokuba: "Mf? And quit calling me that!"  
  
MoonLightWolf: "Don't go in the house."   
  
Mokuba: "Why?"  
  
MF: "Come with us."  
  
MLW: "We'll show you why."  
  
~In Mokuba's Tree house by Seto's window~   
  
Mokuba: "Why are we here?"  
  
MLW: "Well Seto forgot to shut his blinds and this treehouse was built convinently, right next to his window."  
  
Mokuba: "So? Whats your point?"  
  
MF: "Look in Seto's window."  
  
Mokuba: *looks in seto's window then smirks* "Oh, I see what you mean."  
  
MLW: "He seems to be very aquainted with Jou right now."  
  
Mokuba: "Man, if I only had a camera."  
  
MF: "Gotcha covered, well, not them though." *holds up digital camera*  
  
Mokuba: "SWEET!!!"  
  
MLW: "Kinda like all that sugar you had last night?"  
  
~The End~  
  
I'm not really a big fan of Jou and Seto but i wanted to repost it because it was bad the first post. Plus i'm having writers block so that bites. if you like this story click the pretty purple button. 


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